Dear Steve and Shirley,
My girlfriend and I have been together for three years. She's thirty-one, and I'm thirty-three years old. She has always been shy and quiet. I am outgoing and friendly. My family has gotten used to her, but my friends think she's judging them when she's around because she will sit there quietly and stare at them. She speaks when spoken to, but she's not submissive. I never know what's on her mind.
On her birthday, I made dinner reservations and told her I would pick her up for dinner. I got to her house, and she had cooked a big dinner for herself and said she didn't feel like going out. I asked her why she didn't tell me that upfront, and she got mad. Because I was mad, she ignored me for days. She stares at her two-year-old daughter, and that works on her. But I'm a grown man, and I need her to communicate with me when there's a problem, like with sex.
I thought she loved a certain thing I do, but she told me that it is uncomfortable and she has never liked it. She stopped giving me feedback during sex. She frowns and stays silent. She used to at least whimper, but now it's nothing. If I could read her mind, I might be offended. She never seems to be happy, but she says she is.
I talk to her daughter and explain things in a way that she can understand. But my girlfriend said I give her too much information to process. Somebody has to talk to the baby. If I'm watching TV, I feel her staring at me. When I ask her what's wrong, she says nothing's wrong.
I want to marry her for the sake of our daughter, but I'm kind of scared of her. Should I suggest that she go talk to someone, or should I walk away and let her figure out her issues?