Dear Steve and Shirley,
I've been married for fourteen years, and I'm 48 years old. My husband is 55. In all these years, I never thought I would have to deal with cheating. We've always had a very active sex life, he's always been attentive, and he's spoiled me throughout our entire marriage. He’s sweet—but he’s also stupid.
I recently found out that he’s been paying a 32-year-old woman’s rent, car note, and giving her money every month for her daily expenses. The saddest part? He got a part-time job just to support her. He works full-time as a teacher and took on an extra job at a hardware store. He told me he did it to save for a week-long vacation for my 50th birthday.
I regularly check our savings account to see if he’s putting his extra earnings aside, but he wasn’t. When I asked him about it, he said he was putting the money in a "special account." I didn’t like that, but I didn’t press him on it.
Then, I opened a letter from Visa that was addressed to him. It stated that he was turned down for a new credit card, and the authorized user listed on the account was a woman—someone other than me. I found her on Instagram and sent her a message. She called me right away.
That’s when I learned that my husband had told her he was getting a divorce. She said they had been looking at houses together for the past two weeks. She had no idea he was a teacher—he told her he was retired and only worked at the hardware store because his money was "tied up" in his divorce. She apologized to me and even told me he had given her close to $20,000. She asked if I wanted it back. I told her to keep it because she earned it.
Now, my husband knows he’s busted, and he hasn’t spoken to me in eight days. I have no words for him except: why? Why would he pay for what’s at home for free?