Dear Steve and Shirley,
I've been married for six years, and for the past ten years, my husband has been taking care of a woman he used to date. When I met him nine years ago, he told me he was close with a female cousin who lives in Maryland. He said he hadn't seen her in years, but they talk almost daily.
It struck me as odd that he was closer to his "cousin" than he was to his own sister. He even admitted that his relationship with this cousin caused tension between him and his sister because she can't stand the cousin. I kept asking to meet her, but he always had excuses. If I asked who he was texting, he'd say it was his cousin. If they were FaceTiming, he'd hang up as soon as I walked into the room.
Honestly, I never suspected anything until I started planning our Christmas trip to his parents' house in Maryland. I told his sister I wanted her to make peace with the cousin because life is too short to hold grudges against family members. That’s when his sister dropped a bombshell. She told me the woman is not their cousin. She explained that the woman used to date her, and when they broke up, the woman started dating my husband.
She told me I needed to "get my facts straight" before trying to play peacemaker. Then, she added that my husband has been paying this woman’s rent and car note for years—and she doesn't even live in Maryland. She lives about ten miles from us!
My chest tightened, and I started seeing white stars. I called my husband immediately, but when I asked about his "cousin," he hung up on me. Since then, he refuses to talk about it. If I bring it up, he locks himself in the guest bedroom.
I’m left wondering what money he’s using to pay her bills and why he married me if he’s been with her all along. Why won’t he tell me the truth?