Dear Steve and Shirley,
I'm married to a 41-year-old bum who sits around all day doing nothing. My husband retired from the military, and his goal is to be a house husband. Our daughter is in her first year of college, so we're empty nesters. My husband's retirement check is great, but he could be doing so much more. His cousin retired too and has a lawn care business. My uncle retired from the electric company and started a whole new career. My husband doesn't understand that he's able-bodied, meaning he can do a lot of things to generate extra income. He's satisfied with what we have now and the little trips we take here and there. I told him to think bigger, but he can't.
Christmas is coming up, and I'm tired of the tiny pieces of jewelry he gets me every year. I would love to get our daughter a new car, but he always asks, "What's wrong with the one she has now?" He does keep the house clean and will pick up dinner, but that's it. Then he comes to bed expecting me to perform for him on demand after I've worked all day. I told him I want the finer things in life at some point, but he thinks I want us to live beyond our means. That's not it—I just want to be in a position where I can shop and get nice things without stress.
I told him if we have another mediocre Christmas, he's going to have big problems on his hands. He does nothing for me but exist in the house with me. He used to dream about having nicer things, and now he's okay with the raggedy recliner he sits in daily. What type of man doesn't have a vision or want more for his family? I keep asking him, "What have you done for me lately?" but he doesn't get it.