Dear Steve and Shirley,
My husband is threatening to divorce me because I haven't slept in the bed with him for almost two months. I have asked him to do a few minor things, but he won't. To add to the things he does to irritate me at night, he does not wear his sleep mask, so he snores like Sasquatch. We got married in 2017, and he moved back to our hometown to be with me. We met over 20 years ago, but we were just good friends until we realized that we had a lot in common. Our long-distance relationship was fine because he always came to see me. I have children, so he would come by the house, and we'd have to get a hotel room to have sex. He couldn't stay overnight at my house because I have daughters, and I didn't want to set the wrong example. We had only spent three full nights together before we got married. He was definitely on his best behavior right after we said, "I do," but then I started to notice a lot of nasty behaviors.
Here are a few: He rubs his ashy feet together to fall asleep, and it's very loud. His foot scrapings are left between the sheets, and they get all over me. He likes to sleep in nothing but his boxers, and his bristly bare chest pokes me when he tries to cuddle. He needs his sleep mask, but he won't wear it because he likes to wake up in the middle of the night for sex. It's not romantic, and most times, he doesn't kiss me or look at me. He's usually loud and out of breath. We're an older couple, and we are set in our ways. The sex is doable, but it's impossible to sleep next to him.
Can our marriage work if I sleep in the other room?