Dear Steve and Shirley,
I am 41 years old, and my boyfriend is a 63-year-old handsome gentleman. He was married for 32 years, and I got together with him right after the divorce. So, I understood when he called me his ex-wife's name when we first met. I wanted him to go out and date other women, but he locked in on me right away. He thought I wasn't interested in him when I tried to encourage him to date a little bit before jumping into another relationship. When he felt like I was trying to get rid of him, he went overboard to show me that I was the one. He started giving me expensive gifts and took me on a trip that I had always dreamed about. He even had an outdoor kitchen put on my deck and landscaped my yard. Some things he did were a bit much, though, like replacing my mattress because other men had been in my bed, and he started playing tennis with me. That's the one thing I could enjoy by myself. He even got a coach and was taking lessons until recently when he pulled a hamstring. The doctor said it was pretty bad, and he had to stop playing. Consequently, we had to hold off on having sex. It's been almost two weeks since we've had sex, and he's losing his mind. Every day, he asks if I'm alright and if I need him to do other things to please me. I keep assuring him that I'm fine, but he's so worried. I don't want this older man to feel that kind of pressure. He's laid up now and limping around, so he's no good to me like that. It makes me think either he cheated or his ex-wife cheated on him because he's so paranoid. How do I get him to relax and let me get to know the real him? Please help.