The Strawberry Letter: Body Oils, Jells, Lotions, and Potions

Dear Steve and Shirley, I'm 48 years old, divorced, and I'm seeing an old friend from work that is also divorced. He has been dating a lot longer than I have, so it started off as him hanging out with me so I was not lonely. I need to start out by saying that this man used to light up the office with cologne when he walked in. It's like he bathed in it every morning and it competed with the extra fabric softener smell in his clothes. I have sensitive sinus issues so he'd make me sneeze whenever I got close to him. Nothing's changed really except he now uses a lot of body oils and he combines the oils for different purposes. The other night we went to an outdoor concert and he made up a natural bug repellent that made people and bugs want to run from him. When it comes to making love he can't get started without giving me a sensual massage with oils he concocted. I have asked him to stick with lavender but he sneaks other oils in on me. Getting ready to go out with him takes forever because of his body oils, gels, lotions, and potions. He also loves to rub crystals and burns sage when something doesn't go his way. I know this is all new-age stuff but I believe in deodorant and not oils. When the oils wear off and he starts sweating or exerting too much energy he needs a real deodorant, not the gel stuff he puts under his arm. Having said all of that I do care for this man and we have history. My husband was a big country bumpkin who worked hard and took care of me. He showered with manly soap and did yard work but my boyfriend is more into self-care than me. Should I kick him to the curb because he's greasy and smelly or do I ask him to tone it down a bit? A good man is so hard to find.