Dear Steve and Shirley,
I was married for six years to a man I didn’t even want to be with at first. He pursued me heavily, and I eventually gave in after he proposed. I waited three years to marry him, which I now believe was my intuition warning me. I had second thoughts about getting married all the way up to my wedding day. Looking back, the signs were there that he was a cheater, but I was naive enough to think having sex three or four times a week would satisfy him.
He had certain habits that should have raised red flags. He always locked the bathroom door and spent an unusually long time in the shower. His phone was either in his hand or pocket constantly, and he stopped wearing his wedding ring, claiming he didn’t want to damage it at work. Despite all that, I never suspected how much of a liar he truly was.
Here’s what happened: He works as a logistics supervisor for a delivery service. One day, a driver didn’t show up, so he had to cover the delivery route himself. While driving a company vehicle, he stopped by a woman’s house, but her husband came home and caught them having sex. A fight broke out in the front yard, and the woman called the cops. To make matters worse, my husband had weed on him and was arrested.
I didn’t even know he smoked weed! He was fired for having marijuana in a company vehicle. When I found out what happened, I went to the jail intending to bail him out, but once I heard the full story, I left him there. He was released the next day, but by then, I had packed all his clothes and personal belongings into his car, which I left on the street. I told him to leave and never come back.
At the divorce mediation, he became so angry that he admitted to having several women on the side. How could he ruin my life like this? Will I ever be able to trust a man again?
Please advise.