Dear Steve and Shirley,
I was messing with my homegirl for years, and finally, her husband caught us naked from the waist down in the coat closet. He came home early, and we got busted hiding in the closet. So here we are, a year later—her divorce is final, and my long-term girlfriend dumped me. My homegirl thinks that since I was messing with her while she was married, it's fate and we're meant to be together. No, we're not, and I told her that, but she has trouble understanding me.
We've been cool since high school, but it's never been more than sex. Back when I was married, I did not mess around with her. Honestly, I don't know why I went back to her. Since her divorce, she thinks we're boyfriend and girlfriend, and she's been saying we're soulmates. She calls and texts me to say she's thinking about me. She also expects me to keep her in the lifestyle her husband gave her—he owns several stores. I work full-time, but I'm barely making it with my son in college.
Finally, I sat down and tried to reason with her, and she shocked me. She said she wants to move in with me because we're "in this thing together" and have both been publicly disgraced together. Sidebar: I wasn’t disgraced; she was. I was single; she was married. So, I bluntly told her I don’t want a relationship with her. She told me I need to be careful who I cheat with because she's not a "hit-it-and-quit-it" type of woman, and I owe her whatever she had before I ruined her marriage.
How can she be serious? I would never make her my main girl—it was just sex, and she knew it. How do I peacefully end this fantasy she's created in her head?