The Strawberry Letter: Went From WAP to HAP

Dear Steve and Shirley,

I'm a 30-year-old mother with three children. My children's father and I have been together for over 10 years. Before you bash me, let me say this: he has asked me to marry him several times, and I respectfully declined because we need to go to therapy before we get married. Here's why.

My confidence is at an all-time low because my children's father has cheated many times. Whenever I confront him, his exact words are, "Your sex is very boring and you complain too much." When the Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B song came out, he even joked that I've gone from WAP to HOP, meaning I have horrible A.P. My response was, "Well, I wouldn't complain this much if you were half the man you used to be."

I am often tired from work and running around with three children, so he blames me for our lackluster sex life and for not ever being in the mood. I've obliged him many nights and would just lie there trying not to fall asleep until the sex was over. But now, years later and after all the cheating, it has affected my ability to perform in the bedroom. I've heard it's a mental thing, but I'm not sure why I can't get excited or in the mood. I know that if I can't please him, he's going to get it somewhere else.

Just recently, we got into a big argument, and he yelled out that I have some whack A kitty. He apologized a few minutes later, but this is affecting my confidence. He refuses to go to therapy. So should I take my three children and leave him?


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