Dear Steve and Shirley,
I'm a 48-year-old divorced female, and I'm trying online dating. My niece helped me with my dating profile, and we used a real photo of me. However, she suggested that I lie about my interests to attract a man with a nice body. So, I said that I love working out, running, and traveling. The app matched me with a tall, muscular older man. He isn't cute, but we've been dating for six weeks, getting to really know each other, and I like him a lot. He runs marathons and asked me to do a charity run with him in April. I said yes, but I didn't know how to say no.
We started working out together, and it was obvious that I didn't know what to do in the gym. I told him that I do yoga now instead of going to the gym—another lie. We worked out so hard that my head hurt. Then we went to my house, and he told me that we were getting in the shower together. He looked me in the eye and said he wanted me and he'd been waiting for this moment. My head was hurting, and I was so nervous because I look a lot better in my clothes than I do naked. The shower was uncomfortable, and it felt like he realized I didn't work out by the way he looked at my body.
After the shower, you already know, we went straight to my bed. It was our first time together, and I had such a hard time keeping up with him. My leg was not supposed to bend the way he bent it, and it still hurts.
Steve and Shirley, I have lied and ended up with a man who is too good to be true. I'm too out of shape for him, and I can't have sex with him again. I'm too afraid. How do I fix my lies but keep this man?