The Strawberry Letter: He Can Light The Candle But Can’t Keep It Lit

Dear Steve and Shirley,

I'm a Christian woman and new to dating. I was married for twenty-two years, and my husband divorced me in 2022. I have dated men at church and men that my friends hook me up with. I'm very traditional, so I like to be courted. I want my doors opened, and I want my man to order for me when we're on a date. I also like passionate lovemaking and refuse to settle for "wham bam thank you, ma'am" in the bedroom.

I met a handsome younger man online, and his profile said he loves older women. We've had a great time getting to know each other, but then he kept pressing me to take the relationship to the next level so we could see if we're really compatible. I don't know why he rushed things because he has trouble in that area. He can light the candle, but it can't stay lit for very long. The first time, he was embarrassed and he jumped up and left my house in a hurry. I told him that maybe it was just stage fright, but the other three times the same thing happened. Then, for the fourth try, we did a lot of pre-gaming, and he couldn't hold up through that. I asked if he's attracted to me, and he assured me that he is. I'm in good shape and I look good naked. I don't want to throw him away just because he can't last past two minutes. I also don't want to seem desperate and let him think it's okay that he's being pleased and I'm not.

I usually can go to my pastor for advice on anything, but I'm not comfortable asking him about this. What's wrong with the wick of his candle?


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