The Strawberry Letter: He Still Sleeps On His Wife's Pillowcase

Dear Steve and Shirley, I met a man online recently. I had a very bad divorce and he went through losing his wife. She died from complications of COVID three years ago and he was ready to get back out there and date. We connected on many levels and I was nice enough to help him clean out his wife's things. He said that I could take anything of hers that I wanted from her jewelry to any of her clothes because she didn't have any sisters to give the stuff too. I told him thanks but no thanks because I was creeped out by it all. We moved out everything except the bed that he shared with his wife. I did not know it was the same bed and same mattress till he attempted to have sex with me for the first time. He tried to get things started on the couch and make love there. I told him that I imagined our first time being a little more special like in a bed for example. He said that he's not ready to be intimate with another woman in his marital bed. I stopped everything and put my blouse back on. I asked him why the bed was so special and he said it's where his beloved wife took her last breath. He said he can't bring himself to change her pillowcase when he washes the sheets. He told me I was welcome to spend the night with him but if I did he would sleep on his wife's side and I would sleep on his side. Now listen, I'm not feeling this man at all after this. I was hoping he's the one but this set us back so far. I've recently talked to him and asked if we got serious would he get rid of the bed sheets and pillowcase he said it would be hard but if we fell in love it might be possible. Would you guys be okay with sleeping in that bed or is it creepy to you too? Should I put this relationship on pause?


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