Subject: He’s not creative enough for me
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m a 49 year old married woman and my husband is 47 and boring with a capital B. We have gained weight since we got married and he’s a thigh and butt kind of guy so he’s constantly rubbing on me and grabbing my behind. That’s all he’s done to show me affection in the last year. Sex with him is boring and as soon as he is done, he falls asleep. We don’t cuddle and he sleeps with his back to me. I talked to him about being a little more creative in the bedroom and he said he has a lot of stress to perform at work and his body gets tired quicker because of all the extra weight he’s carrying around. I told him I would come up with a few ways for us to enjoy sex again, without it hurting his knees or his back. I started watching videos, not porn, to study positions and techniques to please him. I thought at this age, sex would be natural and fun but he sees it as work. I asked him to watch a few of the videos and he said that’s adding something else for him to do and there’s not enough time in the day, as it is. I’ve never seen a man that’s as uninterested in sex as he is right now. I used what I learned in a video on him and he literally laid there and let me do all of the work and he didn’t put in any effort. So, when I finished, I didn’t let him finish. I might as well have used my toy. Speaking of toys, he used to love playing with them but he said we are too old to be fooling around like that now. He never tells me ‘no’ when I want sex, but he won’t put forth any effort and I feel unloved. I’ve asked him if my weight is a turnoff and he said that we are both overweight, so no. Is he really not interested in sex or is he lying about my weight being a problem? All I need is some creativity.