"Subject: He Wants A Baby, But I Need So Much More
Dear Steve and Shirley,
I’m a 33-year-old woman and I’m dating a 35-year-old man. For some background, we met about 3 years ago and after dating 3 years, we are now going on 1 year of living together. He has a great career, he has no children and he is an only child. I have a great career and I have 2 teenagers from two previous relationships, that I raised as a single mom. For the most part, life is pretty peaceful and full of love between my man and I. The sex is amazing and he has a great relationship with my kids. The only problem is that now he wants a baby and he brings it up often. It’s no secret that he wanted children and I’ve always been open to having 1 or 2 more with him. I love being a mom, but my terms are as follows: I want a ring, I want my name on his pension and life insurance policy, at least one shared bank account and a plan for us to move into a bigger house. Right now, his mother is his beneficiary and he shares a savings account with her. I’m not asking for him to remove her totally from everything and I certainly don’t feel like I’m asking for too much. He knows my past and how I trusted men and had babies with them, only to be left alone to do the parenting. He said my previous experiences have nothing to do with him. He seems to think that I’m in jinxing things in some way, by setting myself up financially in case we don’t work out. I am a worrier and I need things to be in order and organized at all times. So, maybe he’s right. But I’ve lived that struggle life and I don’t ever want to go back to anything close to that. Am I asking for too much or should I be more willing to compromise with him?"
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